


I'm on Your Magical Mystery Ride

by thesafesthands



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: (magical and temporary), (seriously about locking me up), Among other things lol, And every other shenanigans in the book, Angst, Animal Transformation, Bucky becomes many MANY things, Crack, Curses, DRAGAENS, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Genderbending, I can only write crack and I have no problem with that, I need to be locked up somewhere tbh, M/M, Poor Stebe I feel bad for torturing him that much, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, What to do when your boyfriend turns into a little spoon, and TENTACALES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:52:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesafesthands/pseuds/thesafesthands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky gets cursed, and now every morning holds a new surprise for him. Steve is a supportive superboyfriend, or as much as he can without losing his sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm on Your Magical Mystery Ride

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Bucky的魔幻奇妙之旅](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314611) by [joankindom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joankindom/pseuds/joankindom)



> Inspired by a French cartoon I loooved watching as a kid. It's called "Martin Morning", and it's basically about a kid who gets transformed every morning into different things (with no explanation whatsoever). So one day he's a dragon, the next he's a wizard, then a frog, and so on. I wanted to crossover it with Captain America and — tada! This porny-ish, cracky, angsty thing happened. Title's from John Legend's _All of me_.
> 
> Unbeta'd, as 3/4 of it has been written at 2 am so I'm sorry for all the mistakes. I'll prolly try to correct them later.

* * *

 

The thing is, they don't know how it happened.

A month ago, Steve and Bucky were standing on the balcony on their floor in the Avengers Tower, enjoying one of their rare nights on leave, kissing and drinking even though all the amounts of alcohol couldn't get them drunk and then kissing some more, watching the city lights down below and trying to reconcile the new outline of New York with the city they used to know.

Bucky had been strangely quiet — or, well, more than _usual_ , and Steve had wrapped his arms around the other man's waist and pulled him in against him, sharing body heat with Bucky who had the habit of getting unnaturally cold when he wasn't moving for a certain time. It scared Steve sometimes, whenever he'd lean in for a kiss and meet ice cold skin that'd make him shiver, and whisper Bucky's name in a soft reproach before doing his best to chase the chill out of his bones.

It was a result of all the revolting body modifications Armin Zola and his goons had done to Bucky immediately after founding him in the snow. Bucky said his memory of it was still kind of blurry, but he _knew_ without exactly knowing how that after taking care of his arm, Zola had made something to his body to help him acclimate to extreme cold, ensuring that he'd survive everytime they'd cryofreeze him and leave him in his cryo chamber like a thing you store on a shelf and forget about until you need it again. Steve hadn't pried too much, unable to watch Bucky remember his captivity and struggle to find the right words to explain how scary this felt and how much that hurt. Steve would rather they'd never helped Bucky remember that part of his life, but he knew he couldn't just pick his favorite memories and ask his lover to forget all about the rest as if it never happened. The Bucky he had known, the man whose bravery and uprightness had always kept him true during the war, reminding him of where they came from and who they were, who _Steve_ used to be, that Bucky _wasn't_ gone forever, but he wasn't the _same_ either. Now, Bucky had this blankness in his eyes sometimes, even when he was smiling. Nowadays it took Steve an incredible amount of effort and perseverance until he could get a real smile out of the other man. And when his lips would curl in his old smirk, the one Steve remembers from the days he was still a scrawny little guy, the one for which he'd fallen head over heels all those years ago, he knew Bucky was still there by his side. He knew he had found him back, and not some empty shell who pretended to be his best friend. He looked genuinely happy in those few moments, and Bucky's happiness was all Steve really wanted. He wouldn't give a damn about this future if Bucky didn't, and if he hadn't been there to discover it with him.

That night Steve had been quietly listening to the sounds of the city, chin resting on Bucky's left shoulder, arms tightening a little when he'd felt Bucky shift in his embrace. Bucky was always still as a statue these days, but that night he'd been unusually restless. Steve had asked him if everything were alright and had gotten no answer in reply, and that was how their night had initially started, and they hadn't exchanged more than a few words since.

"You know," Bucky had suddenly broken the silence, making Steve startle a bit, "I watch this city and I still don't believe it. I remember all they did, but I still can't believe all those things have been happening while I was locked up into some bunker somewhere, and just... sleeping, the whole time."

He gestures with his flesh arm to the glowing skyscrapers rising from the ground all around the Tower, taking up all their view, wherever they looked.

Bucky has this habit of only using his right arm whenever they aren't on the battlefield, and Steve has to  _beg_ until he consents to barely let him touch his mechanical one. It's driving Steve crazy, having to reassure Bucky all the time that it's completely  _fine_ , that he doesn't hate it or feel disgusted, because  _nothing_ that's Bucky's could  _ever_ disgust him. But Bucky refuses to listen to him.

"I can't believe how much I've missed."

Steve had considered reminding him that he had been through the same disbelief after getting thawed, and had undergone the same struggles to adapt to this new world, but he had decided against speaking up. It wasn't anything Bucky didn't know anyway. He had just hummed quietly against Bucky's shoulder, showing his understanding but giving Bucky the freedom to let out whatever had been weighing on his heart without cutting him off. It was the first time Bucky spoke of anything else besides the guilt of discovering he'd been HYDRA's weapon of mass murder for the last century.

"I just... I don't know. I walk the streets where I grew up and I feel like a stranger. I didn't have the chance to see it change, and now I don't recognize _anything_. Even some of this new music gives me panic attacks, and I feel so _pathetic_ all the time! Feels like I'm a goddamn _alien_."

Bucky had laughed briefly, a sad and self-deprecating sound Steve hated more than all the HYDRA agents combined.

"I just wish I hadn't slept all those years between assassinations, you know? Even if I know I haven't aged much, I still feel so _ancient_. And at the same time, I haven't _seen_ much. I just wish, hell, I wish I'd lived... _more_... Ah, hell, forget it, I don't really know what I'm saying."

After that admission that had literally broken Steve's heart, he had silently coaxed Bucky back inside, slid the glass door to the balcony closed and led Bucky to bed. They had held onto each other tight after that, Bucky clinging to Steve's bigger body before falling asleep, as if needing the only thing he knew was real the closest he could. So that he was sure to find him first thing when he woke up.

Steve had lain a kiss on the top of Bucky's head and finally gone to sleep himself.

Only to wake up to an empty bed, and to a scream coming from the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

So they don't really know how, but when Bucky wakes up that first day after wishing he knew everything he'd missed, he is a woman.

Steve blinks owlishly at him when he exits the bathroom, wearing boxers around his slim hips but naked all the way up, because that was how he usually slept. Except that now Bucky has _breasts_ , and he's got nothing to cover them.

They both gape at each other for the next five minutes or so, before Steve flies out of the room at the speed of light, screaming at Bucky to get dressed and be ready to pay Bruce a visit.

On their way to the lab, everyone they meet gawks because even if he's been turned into a woman, Bucky is still very recognizable. He's still kept his metal arm, even if it's slender now to match his right one, and his eyes and mouth and hair are still the same. It's his eyebrows that have become more delicate, his nose and his jaw less pronounced, the lines more refined and feminine. He also can't stop bragging about his rack and asking Steve to feel it up. Which Steve keeps vehemently refusing, or at least, not until they've gotten Bruce's diagnostic. He tries not to stare at Bucky to much once they get onto the elevator, but Bucky's pressed against his side and he's  _laughing_ , and even if it's not how Bucky's voice usually sounds it's still  _Bucky_ , and the fact that this all is more amusing than traumatizing is why Steve has been able to keep his calm. Bucky's feminine laugh sounds like bubbles bursting all around him, and his (her) body is all warm and soft against him.

When they get on Clint and Natasha's floor, Steve knocks on the room he knows is their bedroom and prays he isn't waking them up because Clint is a nasty piece of work when freshly woken, and he'd yell at people and basically be a major  _dick_ until he had his first coffee. Steve curses when he realizes they should have gotten coffee for the secret agents to apologize for the trouble. It'll have to wait next time.

From the other side of the room there is a groan (Clint's) and then laughter (Natasha's). Then there's quiet whispering, followed by a small yelp and a thud. Steve is pretty sure someone just got kicked out of bed.

Great.

Bracing himself to face the cranky agent, Steve is surprised to see Natasha appear in the door frame instead, hair disheveled and eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Um, good morning," Steve starts a bit awkwardly, trying to hide Bucky's state by keeping him behind his bigger frame as much as he can. 

Natasha doesn't seem to notice anything's amiss, all attention on Steve who's blushing furiously, now.

"I was wondering if we could borrow one of your... um, one of your  _bras?"_

The look he gets in reply is the most confused he's ever seen Natasha get. She frowns, canting her hips and pushing the door open a little more to lean against it.

"Am I getting something wrong? Is that some pre-war boys slang for 'condom' or something?"

Steve wishes this conversation was over already. He also wishes he could shoot himself and die a quick death because  _this. is. embarrassing._

Behind him Bucky lets out one of his bubbly laughs and it draws Natasha's attention, who tries to peek at what's behind him.

"No, no it's not, I  _really_ need one of your bras. It's for a thing I've been painting," he lies without looking at her, eyes somewhere on the ceiling because he's never been able to lie and look people in the eye. 

He hears Natasha huff quietly, then there's rustling and-

" _Natasha!_ " Steve says, scandalized when he looks back down at her to see her with both her hands under her baggy nightshirt, obviously busy taking off the bra she's currently wearing. "I didn't mean the one you're wearing  _right now_ _!"_

"Shut the _fuck_ up already!" Clint barks at them from somewhere inside of the room, and Natasha ignores Steve until she's pulled her bra through one of her sleeves ( _and just how the hell did she do that_ , Steve thinks and tries not to gape), and hands it up.

It's black and decorated with lace so delicate Steve is afraid of ruining it if he takes it in his big hands. But before he can reach for it, Natasha bypasses him and throws it behind him. Steve hears the metal arm whir and knows Bucky's caught it. There's a low whistle, and Bucky says "nice" in his new and higher voice.

Steve wants to ask how the hell Natasha figured this one out but she just shrugs at Steve's wide eyes.

"You're a very bad liar, Steve. Someone should teach you because you're so bad it's actually  _insulting_ watching you try to dupe  _me_. Are you going to see Bruce about James' little problem, here?"

"Yeah," comes Bucky's muffled reply, and Steve turns briefly around to see that he's taken his shirt off and is trying to put the bra on.

Steve turns bright red again.

"Well, good luck with that. This smells a lot like Loki's business so I wouldn't expect much from the doctor. You should just go back to your rooms and fuck it out, if you ask me."

Steve's indignant reply isn't loud enough to cover Bucky's giggle.

"We will think about it," Steve replies moodily, because he knows Natasha loves making him feel uncomfortable, and especially in front of Bucky.

Why  _he_ 's the one made fun of while  _Bucky_ is the one who's a woman now escapes him, though.

After thanking Natasha and asking her to keep this to herself for the time being, they let her go back to her boyfriend.

Steve then has to help Bucky fasten the bra before putting his shirt back on, because as much as he brags about knowing everything about women, he's only ever learned how to take those things off — never putting them on. It's both a very awkward and a very exciting experience for both of them, and when Bucky's finally presentable again, he stands up on his toes and gives Steve a kiss on the cheek. It's tentative, as if Steve would push him away (which is  _ridiculous_ ), and the kiss he gets in reply is just passionate enough to show Bucky that he needn't worry.

 

* * *

 

Turns out Bruce really doesn't know better than them.

After poking at Bucky a little, and making sure the metal arm is well-adjusted to this new body, he tells them it has nothing to do with science, and probably everything to do with magic. Which is out of his field, and by a long shot. He says they'd better talk to Thor about it, because he's the only magical being they can trust right now, but the only problem is that Thor isn't on Earth at this moment, and they have no way to contact him before at least a week or two.

After hopping off Bruce's examination table, Bucky thanks him for his time before grabbing Steve's hand and leading him back to their quarters, deaf to all the other man's protests.

Back up in their room, Bucky takes off all his clothes and offers Steve to take his (her) new body for a test drive, with Steve as the test driver.

It feels as awkward as their first time back in their old crappy flat, Steve's complete lack of knowledge when it comes to sex with women making Bucky the more eager to teach him — just like old times. The nostalgia that hits him at that moment makes something in his chest _ache_ and he needs to kiss Steve's lips at least a hundred times before it goes away.

After the first time, they are lying side by side, still catching their breath. Bucky's still fondling his own breasts and laughing goofily from time to time.

"Do you think the fact that I didn't... get _soft_ , do you think it means I'm what they call, er, bisexual?"

Bucky smirks beside him, before rolling on his stomach and looking at Steve with those gorgeous hooded blue eyes — Steve had been so relieved they had remained unchanged, because he'd have missed them cruelly.

"Nah, you're just buckysexual."

Steve chortles loudly at that, right before Bucky jumps on top of him again. 

This time, Steve has found all his self-assurance back and they get each other off until they're too exhausted to keep going on, Bucky showing him all the ways to please a woman but also discovering a few new tricks that draw delighted gasps from him.

The last time, Steve is on top of him, fingers moving slowly between Bucky's legs as he keeps whispering how he'll always love watching Bucky, whatever body he's currently inhabiting because he doesn't care whatsoever. He's raining kisses on Bucky's forehead, and Bucky's hair, and on the top of Bucky's eyelids and it makes Bucky burst into tears as he's reaching his climax, metal arm coming up to grab Steve's shoulder, holding on for dear life.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Steve wakes up to the feel of something warm and wet licking the tip of his nose.

He smiles, stretches his arms above his head and opens his eyes, about to greet the love of his life but what he sees is some sort of rat instead, looming over him. And Steve isn't very proud of it, but he yells and tumbles out of bed because of the covers tangled around his legs because  _what the actual fuck?!_

After finding a couple of oven mitts to catch the rodent with, and a visit down to Bruce's lab again, it turns out this could be Bucky.

On the examination table, Steve comes closer to the rat (no, Bruce said it wasn't a rat but a raccoon) and looks into its strangely serious blue eyes. And knows that Bruce might be right, that as crazy as it sounds, it might very well be Bucky because its the same midnight blues staring back at him, and the more he looks at it the more Steve finds the small animal endearing and he's suddenly submerged with the powerful yearning to hold it in his arms for real. It also has a metal  _paw_ , which Steve doesn't know how he hasn't noticed at first.

And that's exactly what he does before Bruce can stop him, lifting the fluffy little body off the examination table and laughing at the way Bucky hisses and tries to wriggle out of his hold. He's kind of a funny looking animal, with those black spots around his eyes that look like he's put war paint, and his stripped tail that's slashing furiously in the air.

"You're so _cute_ , Buck, how did that happen?"

The raccoon stops struggling and proceeds to glare at him, and Bruce is calling Tony and asking him to come in a hurried voice before the pair have had the time to disappear back into their room again. Turns out Tony didn't believe him about Bucky turning into a woman.

This time, Steve doesn't let Bucky hole them up in their room again. When the Avengers come, they all gather around them and start cooing at the little raccoon, and before he knows what is happening, Bucky is being handed from one person to the other, and  _wow, Clint is really good with his hands_ and O.K. maybe he likes the petting, but just a little bit. He doesn't snuggle when he gets to be held by Natasha. Nope. Not even when she scratches that place behind his ears that makes him melt in her arms.

He realizes Steve is jealous when he gets suddenly snatched away from Tony's hands — if you were asking him, he was losing his time with all those inventions, because that guy was  _born_ for belly scratching —, and he's back with his muzzle almost smashed against a muscled chest, strong arms encompassing his whole body in warmth. Steve's smell is comforting, and within minutes Bucky's asleep. For a small animal, his snores are very loud.

They feed him whatever they can find in the fridge, until Tony orders a whole crate of living grasshoppers because they find on Google that a raccoon's diet consists of 40% of invertebrates, and when they spread all over the Tower and Pepper suffers a mild heart-attack from the disorder it causes, they let Bucky free and watch him clean the whole place in no time. In true raccoon fashion, he washes every prey he catches into a small bucket of water they've given him, making sure to drown it all before stuffing the insects in his mouth. 

It's both disgusting and absolutely adorable to watch. 

The Avengers are all enraptured by the scene, and when he's finished, Bucky gets an extra belly scratch from Tony.

That night when Bucky's whimper comes from the living room where Steve has made him his own little bed in a box on the floor, Steve gives up and calls for him softly, listening to Bucky's claws scratch the wooden floor as he runs to the bedroom, before letting the animal crawl up on their bed and curl on top of the covers. He assures Bucky this will only be temporary, and that they'll find a way to make whatever is happening to him stop. It gets him a gentle nip on the thumb, and then they are both asleep.

 

* * *

 

When Steve wakes up in the middle of the night to discover Bucky's humping his leg under the covers, he grumbles a sleepy "yeah, no _way_ , Buck," throwing the covers and grabbing the animal by the skin of his neck before throwing it in the bathroom and locking the door behind himself.

He loves Bucky with all his heart, he truly does, but.

There are  _limits_.

 

* * *

 

The days pass and Bucky doesn't get better. If anything, those everyday transformations just keep getting weirder and weirder. Like the time Steve wakes up to find that Bucky's been changed into a small silver spoon with an inscription engraved on the handle. It could have been funny because Bucky _is_ the little spoon in this relationship, but it's just weird because Steve can't even ask Bucky if he's alright. He just holds the spoon and stares at it stupidly all day, wondering if it'd move or speak at him. When the Avengers come pay them their daily visit, Tony produces a magnifying glass and they take a look at the engraving.

Turns out it's Bucky's star, but it's entwined with Steve's shield. It brings tears to Steve's eyes because as ridiculous as it looks, Bucky still manages to state that he belongs to Steve even when he's turned into a  _spoon_.

When Clint jokes about using it to stir his coffee, Steve decides their visit is over for the day, and Clint is also banned for  _at least_ the rest of the week.

The others are becoming worried about not only Bucky but Steve too, he knows they are, but they can't do much to help Bucky, and Steve can't either and it drives him slowly mad. He can only wake up every morning ready to support his lover whatever happens.

So Bucky keeps changing for the next month, and no progress is made whatsoever.

One day he's a spoon, then the next one he's a dragon with shiny black scales and big horns and a big, metal front leg with metal claws, that destroys half of the Tower before trying to escape.

The Hulk has to sit on top of him to keep him on the ground, and Steve stays with him and keeps talking sweet nonsense to the beast even though it doesn't seem like Bucky understands, or even that he cares. He has to stop the Hulk from yanking at Bucky's wings too much or he'd tear them off, and they don't really know what part of Bucky's _human_ body that'd damage. The dragon's giant eyes have slit pupils, and they are the size of Steve's head but they are also the same dark blue as Bucky's, and after a while the fierceness in them seems to drain out and there's a soft edge to the eye Steve's sitting beside, and when he reaches up and gives one of Bucky's hard scales a soft caress, the dragon sighs and let's out a small cloud of smoke, eyes closing.

The next morning, they don't even have the chance to talk about it because as a very naked Bruce exists their living room in haste, a box of Steve's favorite biscuits under his arm, Bucky wakes up and both his arms are flesh and bone, and he spends the whole day crying into Steve's shirt.

That day they don't even leave the bed, Steve wrapped tight around Bucky's now entirely human body as they spend the whole time remembering the old days, and how awful it was compared to the things they can do and say and _be_ in the future, they also talk about the good things they can remember, like Bucky holding Steve's smaller body down with both _human_ hands, or when they'd get enough money to go to Coney Island and buy ice-cream on a hot summer day, and how they'd walk back together late at night while the sun is just starting to set, giddy with joy and still riding their first sugar high in weeks, so elated and carefree for a moment that they almost kiss on the threshold, before remembering that it's way too dangerous.

Bucky especially remembers how it'd feel to have both of his arms. The little things he used to be able to do and that he can't ever since HYDRA embedded their vile device onto his chest. Steve tries to argue and give Bucky examples of the way Bucky's metal arm is useful and tries to convince him again that he doesn't mind the littlest bit if Bucky accidentally touches him with it, but Bucky refuses to hear it. It makes Steve angry, and he's about to get out of bed and leave Bucky because he can't, he  _can't_ stand there if Bucky is going to keep on hating himself and asking Steve to agree and call Bucky a monster when he's not!

And he's about to do just that when JARVIS chimes in, polite as always, and signaling them there is some sort of strange creature spreading terror on the streets of New York. 

They get dressed, Steve in stubborn silence, Bucky marveling at the feel of his shirt and his pants in his left hand.

When they reach the neighborhood the attack is taking place, the Avengers decide to split up, Steve taking Tony with himself, Natasha and Clint pairing up without a word which leaves Bucky with the Hulk. They are asked to stay behind and neutralize the creature after the two teams have cornered it and sent it in their direction. It's the oldest trick in the book, and it's why it works out so well.

Bucky doesn't have his metal arm anymore, and even with the other version of the serum, he still can't help feeling a little useless beside the Hulk, who's sitting on the ground and smashing small rocks into dust to pass the time while they wait.

It isn't long before there's a roar that makes the whole ground shake beneath their feet, and then the creature springs from around a corner, big bright-orange slug sliding their way fast as a train wreck. 

The Hulk jumps to his feet and digs them in the ground, arms stretched forward to catch the creature. If Bucky still had his arm, he'd be right there to help him stop it, but now he looks at the orange monster's giant form heading their way at an incredible speed, then he looks down at his very human arms and...

And wishes he had his metal one. Because  _damn it_ , it was maybe heavy and uncomfortable at times and the fingers weren't as dexterous as his flesh ones but at least, it made him feel  _useful_ in times like these. The metal arm had been a weapon for HYDRA to spread terror with, and Bucky had vowed to atone for all the massacres he was guilty of by using it to save people.

What use did he have of two normal arms when they'd only managed to get him almost killed, and captured by the world's most powerful and evil organization?

When the giant slug is about to collide with them, Bucky does the only reasonable thing he can and ducks before hiding behind the Hulk. He's never felt more like a coward, and he hates himself when he feels the shock of the creature hitting the Hulk, and the latter's groans drowned in the creature's deafening screech that makes all the windows in the street explode, glass raining all around them.

 

* * *

 

Later, _much_ later, when they are all back in the Tower, dead on their feet and covered in orange goo that smells like the sewers only a hundred times worse, they all part without more than a nod, and Tony's moody "yeah, good  _fucking_ night to you too, JARVIS".

Steve and Bucky take a shower together, half washing the other and half falling asleep during the operation to the point where Steve slips and almost falls out of the shower. Bucky manages to catch him in extremis and they both laugh hysterically before turning the water off and drying each other half-assedly.

They end up in bed with their hair still dripping water but they are too exhausted to care.

When Steve wants to spoon against Bucky he gets pushed away, but before he can mumble a protest, Bucky wraps his arms around him and starts stroking his back from the small of his back up to the nape of his neck. Steve sags against him and purrs in his ear, content to lay there and let himself be petted like a big blond cat, and it's only then that Bucky remembers that Steve  _loves_ being touched and stroked and taken care of because they used to be like that before the serum, and since he came back with a metal arm and too much baggage to bear on his own, Bucky hasn't touched Steve as much as he used to, especially not with both arms. There used to be a time when he would even make sure to always walk on Steve's left side, so that he wouldn't even be able to look at his metal arm. He doesn't know if it had been to spare Steve the unnecessary guilt he felt towards Bucky, as if  _he_ of all people were responsible for _everything_ bad that's ever happened to Bucky, or if he had been too afraid of losing control of his arm at any moment and tried to kill Steve again. So, yeah, not so much touching has happened in the last year.

But now that he can touch without fear, he does, and he _revels_ in the way Steve snuggles closer and sighs happily with every stroke upward, Bucky's blunt nails catching slightly as he drags them against Steve's skin. Bucky knows he should feel utterly satisfied right now, and he really feels better than ever in this very moment but... something doesn't feel quite right, and he tries hard to ignore it until it's all he can think of.

He misses the way Steve's breath would hitch on the rare occasions when Bucky can't help touching him with his metal hand, too.

He hasn't really thought about it before, but now that he has both hands on him and it doesn't elicit the same reactions, Bucky starts to wonder.

He wonders if Steve wasn't _actually honest_ everytime he'd say he doesn't mind, and that he actually  _does love_  Bucky's metal arm just as much as the rest, if maybe not a little bit more.

He wonders if it was really Steve sacrificing his own comfort for his old buddy's sake, _again_ , and not that Steve actually genuinely has learnt to  _like_ the feel of Bucky's colder fingers slowly heating up against Steve's skin.

The more he thinks about it, the more Bucky remembers how useful the metal arm can be, not only on the battlefield but also with Steve, and most of all, with _pleasing_ Steve. The rare times when Bucky wants to be the one on top, Bucky has caught himself thinking they were lucky to have it, because it's safer to use his metal arm to prep Steve or else he doesn't want to imagine what would happen if he had his human fingers up Steve's ass when he finally grazed that sweet spot inside him and Steve would clench hard around him.

He'd probably cut all the circulation in his right hand.

At that thought Bucky laughs to himself, Steve moaning softly against his neck, and he thinks,  _it was sure nice having both arms back but, hell, I don't mind getting the metal one back tomorrow._

_I really don't._

 

* * *

 

Steve is a very supportive boyfriend. He really is. He'd be ready to _die_ for Bucky. He'd be ready to do about  _anything_ for him, but even his patience is slowly wearing thin.

Bucky keeps changing, Bruce keeps not having a clue about how or why this is all happening, except that it may have something to do with Bucky wishing he'd lived 70 years' worth after Steve tells him all about the night before those transformations had started.

It doesn't really help them find a way to cure Bucky, but it's still a start.

At this time Bucky has been woman, raccoon, spoon, dragon, human, plant, android (that one wasn't funny), ghost, music (Tony had recorded it at Steve's request because it had been the most beautiful sonata he's ever heard, and it had felt like he'd always known its melody but had never been able to transpose it into actual notes, right before Clint had walked in and the song had turned into what Steve was told was called dubstep and wasn't just _very loud and angry noises_ ), fireworks, a metal arm only, a bucky-shaped biscuit, a bucky-shaped snowman, a bucky-shaped gummy bear, a bucky-shaped bronze statue, a bucky-shaped cloud, a bag of milk, Steve (and the real Steve had never been more embarrassed than when Bucky forced him to watch himself  _masturbate_ , of all things, or when he put on Steve's suit and started taking pin-up poses and asking JARVIS to take pictures and transfer them immediately to his laptop), a cup of tea, boots, orca (alright that one was  _terrifying_ because do you even  _know_ how much money, but also superhuman composure it takes not to freak out as you're wondering how to get an  _orca_  to the goddamn  _ocean_ without getting sued by Gaia in the meantime, while half a dozen helicopters are suddenly trailing your big-ass truck you're transporting the orca on, broadcasting the whole thing on national TV, while you can hear the reporters on the radio calling you an animal tormentor or a zoo robber and the US Coast Guards refused to believe that this is actually your superboyfriend on that truck and that they _need_ to let you pass before you lose your cool and shove that one guard's head into that other guard's ass), and many other things Steve gets a headache everytime he merely tries to recall.

The day he wakes up to find that Bucky isn't breathing anymore is the worst, though.

Steve's grief is immeasurable and he loses count of the number of times he drives his fist into a wall, rage and despair menacing to tear him apart from the inside. By the end of the day Bucky's body is still in their bed, Steve refusing to let them move it, and after Bruce's pronounced the time of death which is around midnight, he's left them alone so that Steve can mourn his friend and lover without feeling self-conscious.

And that's what Steve does. He stays up all night in the dark, sitting upright in a chair beside the bed and holding Bucky's cold ( _so cold_ ) hand. He doesn't move, and he doesn't talk. He isn't even sure he still breathes himself. The pain is suffocating, and the loss debilitating. He can't even think, his head too empty and his heart too cold. He just knows Bucky's gone without him,  _again_ , and he also knows he won't be able to survive this twice. He just  _won't_. His body may be strong, but he isn't made of steel. And his heart sure isn't made of unbreakable stone.

He is so wrapped up in his own misery that it takes him a couple of minutes before he realizes he can hear Bucky breathe.

When he looks at the alarm clock right beside him, the numbers are indicating one minute past midnight. And Steve finally starts crying.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning finds Steve awake before Bucky, holding the smaller man in his arms and trying to guess could be the change of the day.

He can't find it, though, and it worries him a bit. He leans in and kisses Bucky when he feels him stir, and waits for the other man's eyes to flutter open, sure he'd see some kind of difference there. But when Bucky opens his eyes, Steve's met with the gorgeous twin lakes of dark blue staring at him a bit groggily, Bucky still mostly asleep.

"Buck," Steve whispers, without really knowing why, "do you feel any different?"

Bucky shifts a bit, as if to check that ever part of his body is a) human, b) whole, c) responding, and that there are no extra limbs like that one time he woke up with purple tentacles. Then he looks up at Steve and frowns.

"I think everything's as normal as it gets. Huh, do you think it's finally over?"

He sounds hopeful, and Steve kisses him and says "I think it is.  _God_ , I'm _so_ glad it's finally over!"

"Not as much as me, pal. _Not_ as much as me. I will miss the tentacles, though."

"Shut  _up!_ " Steve lets out, voice gone slightly high-pitched with laughter as Bucky's pretending that his arms have turned into tentacles again and he's gotten his little suckers stuck to Steve's face,  _again_.

 

* * *

 

 

Turns out, it  _had_ been Loki's fault, but Thor had managed to stop his brother before he could drive Steve and Bucky and the rest of the residents of the Tower completely insane.

Turns _also_ out that for once, Loki's devious scheming has had a positive outcome.

Steve can indeed notice the small changes this whole trial has had on Bucky, and he loves every single one of them.

Bucky looks more comfortable inside his own body now, probably too happy to have it back in its normal state. He also isn't as ashamed as he used to be of his metal arm, finally uses it just as much as the other and even lets Steve hold it when they are on the street.

He still experiences panic attacks, though, and in those times Steve is grateful for Tony who will always step in after Steve has brought him back to the Tower, and talk Bucky through it with infinite patience and kindness, a side of Tony's that Steve wishes more people knew existed, and not only Tony's closest friends.

But he's also slowly getting used to the future, and Steve has caught him more than once now singing some pop song in the shower, the same ones that used to make him wince from their strangeness and make him want to dive under the covers and never get out of bed.

Bucky is finally opening up to the world, and Steve trusts that it won't take long until Bucky's adapted better than Steve, and until it feels like Bucky's always belonged in this century.


End file.
